Happy Turkey Day!

Even though it was yesterday. I was spending the day with my super amazing family since I haven’t seen them all together since Easter. We had a great time though, and no one died, which is always a plus. I think it helped that my mom and I drank pretty consistently, we never got drunk but we were always almost buzzed. Did you know whipped cream vodka is delicious in gingerbread lattes from Starbucks? Yeah, me either until yesterday. After we ate I went back to the hotel with them and then my mom and I ditched the boys to go to the bar to see what kind of losers are there on Thanksgiving. Mostly my friends. She only had one beer with me and then went back to the room. I had four and then stumbled back. At midnight we decided to go to Walmart. Well, see, my parents are small town folk. They love living in the country. Walmart on Black Friday in the city is just not their cup of tea. They were literally rioting over vacuum cleaners. VACUUM CLEANERS. Who the fuck needs a vacuum cleaner that badly? We were actually in and out of there in about 45 minutes though and no one sustained any major injuries thank God. They headed back home today after we all woke up though and I was sad to see them go. Hopefully I get to see them on Christmas and it won’t be another 7 months.

I am so classy.

So I’m thinking about quitting at the naughty store. My boss is an evil bipolar bitch who will throw anyone under the bus to try and save her ass. Thursday she told me that I would have to work the day before Thanksgiving for 3 hours while my family was in town. My family who I haven’t seen all together in 7 months. Needless to say, I needed a drink. And bad. I called up to the bar and asked the bartender if there was anyone there who could give me a ride since my car is all fubared. The only person who could come and get me was the guy in the Army I slept with a few times. Talk about an awkward car ride. He left after a couple of hours and I turned my sights to the cute guy at the end of the bar. Fast forward to closing time. I’m hammered, he’s hammered, we’re making out, I don’t even really know his name. So we did what anyone else would do, we got a hotel room. It was pretty amazing. Like, definitely going on my top 5. The best part? He’s not even from here so when I woke up he was already gone to work.

Free At Last…. (Kind Of)

So Florida Boy finally went home. I haven’t heard from him since he left and I probably won’t. I know I’m not going to try and talk to him even though he made me promise I would. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to waste my time on a guy who spent the last 2 weeks we were together texting some other girl that he talked mad shit about. That just screams scum to me. Navy Boy is also completely out of my life. I got really drunk the other night and called him demanding answers. He couldn’t give them to me. I told him, I’m not looking to be in a relationship with you right now but I need to know if I’m wasting my time pushing every guy away just so at the end of the day it’s me and you. Well I was wasting my time. I blocked him on Facebook and blocked his number. I would love to say I’m done with guys for a while and I’m just going to chill out but no of course not. There’s a cook at the restaurant next door to where I work that wants to take me on a date. I think I’m gonna take him up on it too.

I’m Just Not That Into Him

So I’ve been seeing this guy the last few weeks who isn’t from here and is going back to his natural habitat at the end of the week. At first I really liked him and thought he was great, blah, blah, blah, but now I can’t wait until he goes back. Sure, he’s probably the hottest guy I’ve ever slept with, sure I enjoy the fact that he smokes me up almost every day and pays for me whenever we go out somewhere, yeah we have great sex. But when it comes down to it, he annoys the shit out of me. All he talks about is how much he misses home and all his millions of friends and how cool his friends are and how much the place I live sucks. He also has no inclination to listen to my music and will literally take my computer out of my hands when I put a song on to change it to rap. He tries to tell me all the time the things I need to change, apparently I need God and to stop eating Taco Bell and quit smoking. Excuse me, but fuck off. You are not anything more than a friend and I will not be changing my entire lifestyle for you. I can’t even talk normally around him because he doesn’t understand half of what I’m saying. I didn’t find out until the other day that he never graduated high school and he made it through the little bit of school he went to by cheating. Yep, people, he’s a real winner. He asked me if I would date him if he lived here and I told him no without even thinking about it. I think he was a little taken aback by it since no girl has ever turned him down like that, but hey, sometimes you just gotta put bitches in their place.

It’s been a hot minute…

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, not that I have any loyal followers or anything. Let’s see, where to start? I’m working at the naughty store, and that’s going well and is fun. I’m not waitressing but I am bartending at a shitty dive bar, but it’s a fun dive bar and I make good money there. My car blew up and I am now biking everywhere because I’m a gangster like that. As far as dudes go, Couch Boy is completely over for good. He was STILL fucking her. After him I was hooking up with this guy in the Army for a few weeks and now I’m hanging out with this guy from Florida who is going back soon. Yeah, that about sums up life at the moment. Today is my 1 year of being out of the Navy. Some bad ass military planes flew over our apartment today and I started crying. That was fun. I will try to update more from now on, promise.

Done. Done. Done.

I finally quit my shitty ass waitressing job!!! The job itself wasn’t horrible, however I was making NO money. All the servers are salary based instead of tip based and no one ever tipped. I’m now going to be working at a naughty store and hopefully this restaurant that is opening across the street from my house where I will make tips! I’m way more excited about the naughty store though. It’s going to be interesting seeing what people buy what and how they act. I’m going to get paid to talk to people about their sex lives all day long. I’m just hoping to make enough money between that and the waitressing job to pay my bills and save up a little. We shall see.

I can barely walk, and I’m covered in bruises.

But damn, my birthday was fun. It took us a while to finally get moving thanks to being quite hungover from the night before but once we did shit went down! We started out at the Biker Bar where I got served a penis jello shot cake and got a lapdance and a special birthday shot. After a while there they wanted to close up so we headed to another bar the BFF used to work at and continued our drunken debauchery. I got up on the stripper pole and apparently, I’m pretty good at it. No one would believe it was my first time really doing it. I also got a lap dance from this drunk married woman. That was interesting. We then decided it was time to head on home and I was doing great until we went over a speed bump and that started a trail of puke all the way to our apartment. At least I got it out the window. I had three guys trying to get in my pants but only Couch Boy was able to. On a side note to that, he has spent the last 3 nights here and last night was a sober night. I think something might be happening with us. I know he hasn’t seen Couch Girl lately, so maybe he gave that up for me finally?