But… but… but…

I see everyone my age getting married and knocked up and here I am with basically no one. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy being single but it’s human nature to want to be desired. I haven’t felt that way in so long. Before I left for bootcamp in July I was doing well. I had hotties left and right. Now? I basically take whatever I can get. I thought I had a great guy but after a few hookups I never heard from him again. I saw him at a party and he basically ignored me. Granted, I was drunk and calling him an asshole but he still ignored me. Part of my problem is that I feel like I already found “the one” but I won’t date him until he graduates. Why? He goes to school way far away from me and has a drinking problem. Every guy I meet I compare to him. And he’s not even that great to me. Probably because when I was drunk I told his friends that I didn’t trust him and would not move to where he is. I met a very nice guy last week. And he was hella into me. The problem? He was shorter than me and tried to cuddle. I do NOT cuddle. Especially if I just met you. But every so often I get this yearning in me to just have someone there. So that when I do actually feel like cuddling I have someone. I don’t know what it is about me that makes guys run to the hills. One of these days I’ll figure it out.

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