I’m Just Not That Into Him

So I’ve been seeing this guy the last few weeks who isn’t from here and is going back to his natural habitat at the end of the week. At first I really liked him and thought he was great, blah, blah, blah, but now I can’t wait until he goes back. Sure, he’s probably the hottest guy I’ve ever slept with, sure I enjoy the fact that he smokes me up almost every day and pays for me whenever we go out somewhere, yeah we have great sex. But when it comes down to it, he annoys the shit out of me. All he talks about is how much he misses home and all his millions of friends and how cool his friends are and how much the place I live sucks. He also has no inclination to listen to my music and will literally take my computer out of my hands when I put a song on to change it to rap. He tries to tell me all the time the things I need to change, apparently I need God and to stop eating Taco Bell and quit smoking. Excuse me, but fuck off. You are not anything more than a friend and I will not be changing my entire lifestyle for you. I can’t even talk normally around him because he doesn’t understand half of what I’m saying. I didn’t find out until the other day that he never graduated high school and he made it through the little bit of school he went to by cheating. Yep, people, he’s a real winner. He asked me if I would date him if he lived here and I told him no without even thinking about it. I think he was a little taken aback by it since no girl has ever turned him down like that, but hey, sometimes you just gotta put bitches in their place.