And Leading This Lap…

So every year before the Coca Cola 600 the city of Charlotte hosts this huge festival called Speed Street. It is a redneck dream, NASCAR, country music, and all the free samples you could ever want. Including free tobacco. I went and saw Rodney Atkins (thanks Velveeta for the free mac and cheese I’m eating right now) and Luke Bryan last night and got slam drunk. I started out with a Four Loko and just got shittier from there. Out of no where I realize I’m making out with someone. Turns out he’s a low level driver. And wants to meet up tomorrow night for Corey Smith. I looked him up online and he’s definitely not ugly so at least I’m not drunk public making out ¬†with ugly people. I’ll keep it updated.

To go out, or not to go out?

This morning when I woke up I decided that since I hadn’t slept a wink last night (which is why at 4am this genius idea to start a blog came to me) that I didn’t want to go out anymore tonight. I was tired, I was cranky, the weather is shitty, and my last hookup was going to be there. Usually I’m pretty cool around them, I don’t make things creepy or awkward (clarification- unless I am drunk and I actually liked you) and in all honesty, I tend to ignore them. This guy however has a special nickname for me. The Dick Breaker. We were trying to get it on and I apparently came down a little too hard and well, broke his dick. Or so he said. When his friend that we hang out with told me that he couldn’t keep a straight face and neither could I. I also happen to be obsessed with Jersey Shore and prior to this incident I was called The Incident. I know if I go out tonight I’m just going to crack up laughing and have to explain myself. I know that things might just be a little awkward tonight. I know that we will not be hooking up but he will be looming so that rains on my parade of trying to get a little somein’ somein’. No one reads this yet and I still haven’t made up my own mind but I will keep all of you pretend readers in the loop.