What a year.

Most people write their look back on the year on New Years but today is a much more important day for me. At this time last year I was sitting in the Charlotte airport waiting to go to boot camp. I was anxious, nervous, scared, and most of all excited. I was finally making my dream of being in the military come true. It was all I ever wanted. My parents made me go to college right after high school instead of joining because I was 17 and my mom had 20 years of Army experience under her belt. I listened to her, made it through two years of doing something I hated, and finally went to talk to a recruiter. As I walked out of his office after signing the papers I called my mom and told her to guess what I just did. Her answer? “You joined the Navy didn’t you?” How in the hell she knew that I will never know. After a few weeks in training I could tell something just wasn’t right. I was sick, I couldn’t breathe, and every time I would try and run I would literally collapse. I spent four months at RTC even though boot camp only lasts two. They tried to “fix me” in every way they knew how but I wasn’t getting better, I was rapidly getting worse. When I came home my doctor diagnosed it as fibromyalgia, a nerve condition that affects a number of different parts of your body. Another doctor ran extensive blood work on me and during the results appointment she asked told me that I had mono recently. Apparently what they diagnosed in boot camp as extreme pnuemonia was actually mono and triggered the fibro. I have been out for eight months but it seems like only yesterday. I have done almost nothing productive since I’ve been home. It’s so hard to try and figure out what I want in life when the only thing I’ve ever wanted was taken away from me in a five minute visit to a doctor.