Happy Turkey Day!

Even though it was yesterday. I was spending the day with my super amazing family since I haven’t seen them all together since Easter. We had a great time though, and no one died, which is always a plus. I think it helped that my mom and I drank pretty consistently, we never got drunk but we were always almost buzzed. Did you know whipped cream vodka is delicious in gingerbread lattes from Starbucks? Yeah, me either until yesterday. After we ate I went back to the hotel with them and then my mom and I ditched the boys to go to the bar to see what kind of losers are there on Thanksgiving. Mostly my friends. She only had one beer with me and then went back to the room. I had four and then stumbled back. At midnight we decided to go to Walmart. Well, see, my parents are small town folk. They love living in the country. Walmart on Black Friday in the city is just not their cup of tea. They were literally rioting over vacuum cleaners. VACUUM CLEANERS. Who the fuck needs a vacuum cleaner that badly? We were actually in and out of there in about 45 minutes though and no one sustained any major injuries thank God. They headed back home today after we all woke up though and I was sad to see them go. Hopefully I get to see them on Christmas and it won’t be another 7 months.


What a year.

Most people write their look back on the year on New Years but today is a much more important day for me. At this time last year I was sitting in the Charlotte airport waiting to go to boot camp. I was anxious, nervous, scared, and most of all excited. I was finally making my dream of being in the military come true. It was all I ever wanted. My parents made me go to college right after high school instead of joining because I was 17 and my mom had 20 years of Army experience under her belt. I listened to her, made it through two years of doing something I hated, and finally went to talk to a recruiter. As I walked out of his office after signing the papers I called my mom and told her to guess what I just did. Her answer? “You joined the Navy didn’t you?” How in the hell she knew that I will never know. After a few weeks in training I could tell something just wasn’t right. I was sick, I couldn’t breathe, and every time I would try and run I would literally collapse. I spent four months at RTC even though boot camp only lasts two. They tried to “fix me” in every way they knew how but I wasn’t getting better, I was rapidly getting worse. When I came home my doctor diagnosed it as fibromyalgia, a nerve condition that affects a number of different parts of your body. Another doctor ran extensive blood work on me and during the results appointment she asked told me that I had mono recently. Apparently what they diagnosed in boot camp as extreme pnuemonia was actually mono and triggered the fibro. I have been out for eight months but it seems like only yesterday. I have done almost nothing productive since I’ve been home. It’s so hard to try and figure out what I want in life when the only thing I’ve ever wanted was taken away from me in a five minute visit to a doctor.

Twenty Things.

1. I generally like animals more than people.

2. I used to have to sneak shoes I bought past my mom because she forbade me to buy any more.

3. I am a gigantic pothead, I love weed more than alcohol.

4. I still love alcohol though.

5. I could make more money at a different job but I like it, even if some days I claim to hate it.

6. I can cook really, really well.

7. I’m trying to write a novel.

8. I’m pretty much a total nympho but I haven’t gotten much lately.

9. Country music is my favorite. I love any song that tells a story though.

10. I’m in love with two different people for two different reasons.

11. I love hot weather but have to be cold to sleep.

12. I can decorate the shit out of any space.

13. I never know whether to say it’s a disease or a condition. Either way, fuck fibro.

14. My biggest regret is that I couldn’t pass bootcamp and be in the Navy right now.

15. Every plant I buy or plant ends up dying. I’ve never had a green thumb.

16. The best compliment I’ve ever gotten was “You look just like Audrey Hepburn!” She probably doesn’t remember me but I will always remember her.

17. Probably the most fun I’ve had with my mom was the afternoon at the nude beach in St. Maarten.

18. I own more LSU paraphernalia than any other brand of clothing. I even have a LSU Snuggie.

19. I don’t have cable, but I do have a lot of movies.

20. I like watching shit blow up more than the average girl, I hate wrecking cars in NASCAR though.

This is why I love coming home


I love visiting the mountains but damn am I glad I don’t live there anymore!