Secret Single Behavior

There are a lot of people out there who would kill to have a significant other. Just look at the personals section on Craigslist. I would be ok with having a boyfriend but then I would have to give up my “Secret Single Behavior”. I made a little list of things I couldn’t do if I had a boyfriend. What are some of yours?

  • Go a while without shaving. It’s such a pain in the ass.
  • Have the whole bed to myself.
  • I would probably have to give up the insomnia just because I assume my significant other would like more than a couple hours of sleep.
  • Have “alone time” with myself.
  • Wear sweat pants all the time.
  • Have all the covers. And all the pillows. (All 6 of them)
  • Decorate in pink.
  • Continue my abnormal obsession with Ikea.
  • Watch trashy reality TV. Gotta love the Housewives and Jersey Shore.

If I think of anymore I’ll add them, feel free to spill the beans!


To go out, or not to go out?

This morning when I woke up I decided that since I hadn’t slept a wink last night (which is why at 4am this genius idea to start a blog came to me) that I didn’t want to go out anymore tonight. I was tired, I was cranky, the weather is shitty, and my last hookup was going to be there. Usually I’m pretty cool around them, I don’t make things creepy or awkward (clarification- unless I am drunk and I actually liked you) and in all honesty, I tend to ignore them. This guy however has a special nickname for me. The Dick Breaker. We were trying to get it on and I apparently came down a little too hard and well, broke his dick. Or so he said. When his friend that we hang out with told me that he couldn’t keep a straight face and neither could I. I also happen to be obsessed with Jersey Shore and prior to this incident I was called The Incident. I know if I go out tonight I’m just going to crack up laughing and have to explain myself. I know that things might just be a little awkward tonight. I know that we will not be hooking up but he will be looming so that rains on my parade of trying to get a little somein’ somein’. No one reads this yet and I still haven’t made up my own mind but I will keep all of you pretend readers in the loop.