Cue Dramatic Music.

So Navy Boy is home on leave. He came to see me before he went to his parents house. Things were pretty good. We of course slept together and he promised he would be back this weekend for my birthday. Everything I’ve wanted for months right? Weeeeellllll…. I got drunk last night and invited Couch Boy over. We had a big long heart to heart talk and somehow ended up naked. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if I want Navy Boy to come anymore. Shit, I don’t even know if I want Couch Boy there either. Why does everything always have to be so damn complicated? I feel horrible about sleeping with CB again, but it’s not stopping me from being tempted to invite him over again tonight to just chill. That is if he’s not hanging out with whatshername.


Life goes on I guess.

About a week ago I thought Navy Boy was coming crawling back to me. Nope. He promised to call me and never did. Granted, I’m really not torn up about it. The last time I talked to him he insulted me constantly and told me I still wanted him. If you have to tell me I do then I probably don’t. If he wants to talk he’ll call me. Whether I answer or not is a completely different story. I love the boy, I really really do but he drives me insane. And I deserve better than that. I did talk to a guy from the dating website last night for 2.5 hours but he hasn’t called me tonight. I’m really hoping he calls tomorrow because he seems promising and a lot less creepy than the last one.

Why are all the single guys such creeps?

So I thought I had a promising first date the other night. We met on that dating website I joined, talked for a few hours online, and decided to meet up. Things started out innocently enough. We were talking and laughing and I was excited because things were going so well and he was cute. Neither of us wanted the date to end so we came back to my apartment and it was late so I told him he could stay but no funny business. As soon as the lights went off he went into full creeper mode. He told me that I looked like a good cuddler, he told me how much my tattoos turned him on, and he told me that when he first saw me all he could think about was kissing me. Those are not necessarily things you talk about on the first date. Last night he texted me asking if he could tell me something, not knowing what he was going to say I said sure. Then he texted me back saying, “Last night I was so aroused all I could think about was putting my lips all over your body.” Ummmm…. WTF?! I didn’t respond and am not likely too. Why is it so much to ask for a stable, non-creepy, non-commitment phobic, good looking, chill guy? Even the new hot guy at work has a girlfriend already. Granted, I had to Facebook stalk to find out so does that make it ok to continue to hit on him?

Mind Games Pt. 2

So I haven’t spoken to Navy Boy in almost a week. I gave up trying, especially after he told me he didn’t actually want me to move in with him, he was just drunk when he said it. I’m done playing his mind games. I do love him but love isn’t supposed to leave you feeling empty inside. He’s supposed to be back home next weekend and I was supposed to go see him but we will see how that plays out. I probably won’t especially since my car is a piece of shit and won’t make it to his hometown, plus the last time I drove a piece of shit car to go see him my car blew up. In other mind game news, Engineer Boy texted me. I was shocked. I’m keeping it casual though, no dirty texts yet. Also I have decided to give the online dating thing more energy since those two can’t make up their minds, maybe I’ll find someone who can.

What’s with the mind games?

Boys say girls are confusing, girls say boys are confusing. So which is it really? Why can’t both sexes just stop with the mind games. I think everyone would be a lot happier. Navy Boy and I haven’t really talked since he dropped his bombshell on me. He told me he would call me but never did. So I finally broke down and texted him (see, I’m totally guilty of the mind games) and then found out I was on speaker phone. I don’t do speaker phone especially when one of your Navy buddies is drunk and laughing hysterically and repeating everything I say. He told me he would call me back. Two days later he still hasn’t. Why after telling me you want to marry me would you just drop off the face of the earth? Navy Boy’s jedi mind tricks have nothing on Engineer Boy though. I haven’t had any contact with him since the day after I saw him. None. Not even a drunk text. He’s supposed to be in town soon and I’m wondering if he’ll try to come over. I can assure you for an absolute fact though that he won’t be. Guys confuse and irritate me. If you’re not interested let me know straight up. Don’t string me along. Don’t tell me you want to marry me and then drop off the planet. Don’t beg me to come see you then don’t talk to me for a month. I’m totally drinking tonight until both of these two are off my mind. I’m turning off my phone and sober me is going to hide it from drunk me.

Holy Shit.

It’s the only phrase I’ve been repeating for the last thirty minutes and unfortunately it’s too much of a god awful hour for anyone to be awake for me to talk to. I just got off the phone with Navy Boy. He was acting like he was acting the first time he told me he loved me. And then he told me he had a question for me, of course I had to ruin it with a joke, but then he was like, “You really don’t know what I’m trying to ask you?” I told him no. I figured he just wanted to make it official again, but I really didn’t want that since we are so far away. After going back and forth for a while I told him what I thought it was and he said, “No, what I’m thinking is a little more official and lasts a little longer.” HOLY SHIT. He eventually had to go to bed since he is in the military and wakes up in just a few hours. After I got off the phone I texted him and said to ask me in person. He texted me back with this, “I will marry you someday. I love you. If I ever grow the balls to, I will.” Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

More Confused Than EVER

So I went and spent the night with Engineer Boy before he jetted off to his summer internship. The sex was good, everything else- awkward. He kept bringing up girls he had slept with. So of course I came back at him with my own stories. So I can’t really compete with some slut asking him to bend her over the chair and fuck her on a boat, at least most of the guys I have had sex with had meaning. I’ve asked some guys about what the hell this strange behavior means and apparently he’s trying to make me jealous. Newsflash- we’re not dating, I’m not going to get jealous. Awkward feeling, yes, jealous, no. He wants me to come down to see him sometime this summer and I’m just not sure I’m feeling it. I think I may be at the point where I’m forcing myself to feel a certain way about him because of our history. Life has a funny way of working itself out so we’ll see. In other news, I got into a car accident on the way home from seeing him. At the scene no one had injuries now apparently they do and they’re trying to get something out of me. Here’s another newsflash- I’m completely fucking broke. If they try to sue me for my net-worth they’re gonna be disappointed when they see a negative number!

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