Free At Last…. (Kind Of)

So Florida Boy finally went home. I haven’t heard from him since he left and I probably won’t. I know I’m not going to try and talk to him even though he made me promise I would. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to waste my time on a guy who spent the last 2 weeks we were together texting some other girl that he talked mad shit about. That just screams scum to me. Navy Boy is also completely out of my life. I got really drunk the other night and called him demanding answers. He couldn’t give them to me. I told him, I’m not looking to be in a relationship with you right now but I need to know if I’m wasting my time pushing every guy away just so at the end of the day it’s me and you. Well I was wasting my time. I blocked him on Facebook and blocked his number. I would love to say I’m done with guys for a while and I’m just going to chill out but no of course not. There’s a cook at the restaurant next door to where I work that wants to take me on a date. I think I’m gonna take him up on it too.


Cue Dramatic Music.

So Navy Boy is home on leave. He came to see me before he went to his parents house. Things were pretty good. We of course slept together and he promised he would be back this weekend for my birthday. Everything I’ve wanted for months right? Weeeeellllll…. I got drunk last night and invited Couch Boy over. We had a big long heart to heart talk and somehow ended up naked. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if I want Navy Boy to come anymore. Shit, I don’t even know if I want Couch Boy there either. Why does everything always have to be so damn complicated? I feel horrible about sleeping with CB again, but it’s not stopping me from being tempted to invite him over again tonight to just chill. That is if he’s not hanging out with whatshername.

How soon is too soon?

So here’s the deal, things have been going really great with Couch Boy. Like, really great. I even told him that I liked him “like that”. The problem? I don’t know what he wants. I don’t know if he’s still seeing Couch Girl. How soon is too soon to ask him what the deal with us is? I don’t want to seem clingy but I need to know if it’s just going to be a fuck buddy thing or and actual could be a relationship thing. If it’s just a fuck buddy thing then I need to slow down and get unattached. The answers I have gotten range from two weeks to a month. I cannot wait a month. Why do relationships have to be so complicated? Navy Boy is pissed off at me because I told him I wouldn’t be able to see him when he came home on leave. I told him it was because of work but it’s actually because I want to see where things with Couch Boy will go. Engineer Boy is actually talking to me for right now and talking about coming to see me but I’ll believe that when he shows up at my door step. And now I have to go back to hell, aka- Work, and serve all the rude fuckers in the greater Charlotte area. Fun fun. Luckily they are calling for severe thunderstorms so maybe it will be dead, fingers crossed.

Oops, I did it again…

I slept with Couch Boy again. Once drunk and once sober. The worst part? I think I might actually like him. He’s funny, attentive, smart, and great in bed. He’s already texted me today saying he was thinking about me. I don’t know what to do or think. I don’t even know if he’s still regularly sleeping with his fuck buddy. We do have plans to go play paintball the next time it rains. There is nothing more exhilarating than shooting the shit out of someone while you’re rolling around in mud (see, I TOLD you I was in the military). And when you’re done you can take a hot shower together and laugh at each other’s bruises. Not that I’ve done that before or anything…  He has also made plans to buy me a drink on my birthday already. If Navy Boy does happen to come things may get a little, umm, AWKWARD. But I haven’t talked to him in a week, I did call him last night before Couch Boy showed up and told him to call me today so maybe he will? Who knows with him.

I can’t believe myself.

From Sunday night until yesterday morning I was drunk. Not the I’ve been drinking a few beers all day kind of drunk, no, more like the I’m going to pretend to give someone head and let that picture go on facebook kind of drunk. The last time I was continuously drunk like that was when my family went on a cruise last year. Oh, and also, I got laid. However, dude already has a pretty regular fuck buddy so I’m thinking it was a one time deal. Plus, I know her. Actually, the first time they slept together was in our house on our couch. I keep it so classy. It’s ok though because Engineer Boy is coming to see me soon and shortly after that Navy Boy will be here.

Life goes on I guess.

About a week ago I thought Navy Boy was coming crawling back to me. Nope. He promised to call me and never did. Granted, I’m really not torn up about it. The last time I talked to him he insulted me constantly and told me I still wanted him. If you have to tell me I do then I probably don’t. If he wants to talk he’ll call me. Whether I answer or not is a completely different story. I love the boy, I really really do but he drives me insane. And I deserve better than that. I did talk to a guy from the dating website last night for 2.5 hours but he hasn’t called me tonight. I’m really hoping he calls tomorrow because he seems promising and a lot less creepy than the last one.

Mind Games Pt. 2

So I haven’t spoken to Navy Boy in almost a week. I gave up trying, especially after he told me he didn’t actually want me to move in with him, he was just drunk when he said it. I’m done playing his mind games. I do love him but love isn’t supposed to leave you feeling empty inside. He’s supposed to be back home next weekend and I was supposed to go see him but we will see how that plays out. I probably won’t especially since my car is a piece of shit and won’t make it to his hometown, plus the last time I drove a piece of shit car to go see him my car blew up. In other mind game news, Engineer Boy texted me. I was shocked. I’m keeping it casual though, no dirty texts yet. Also I have decided to give the online dating thing more energy since those two can’t make up their minds, maybe I’ll find someone who can.

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