It’s been a hot minute…

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, not that I have any loyal followers or anything. Let’s see, where to start? I’m working at the naughty store, and that’s going well and is fun. I’m not waitressing but I am bartending at a shitty dive bar, but it’s a fun dive bar and I make good money there. My car blew up and I am now biking everywhere because I’m a gangster like that. As far as dudes go, Couch Boy is completely over for good. He was STILL fucking her. After him I was hooking up with this guy in the Army for a few weeks and now I’m hanging out with this guy from Florida who is going back soon. Yeah, that about sums up life at the moment. Today is my 1 year of being out of the Navy. Some bad ass military planes flew over our apartment today and I started crying. That was fun. I will try to update more from now on, promise.


Oops, I did it again…

I slept with Couch Boy again. Once drunk and once sober. The worst part? I think I might actually like him. He’s funny, attentive, smart, and great in bed. He’s already texted me today saying he was thinking about me. I don’t know what to do or think. I don’t even know if he’s still regularly sleeping with his fuck buddy. We do have plans to go play paintball the next time it rains. There is nothing more exhilarating than shooting the shit out of someone while you’re rolling around in mud (see, I TOLD you I was in the military). And when you’re done you can take a hot shower together and laugh at each other’s bruises. Not that I’ve done that before or anything…  He has also made plans to buy me a drink on my birthday already. If Navy Boy does happen to come things may get a little, umm, AWKWARD. But I haven’t talked to him in a week, I did call him last night before Couch Boy showed up and told him to call me today so maybe he will? Who knows with him.

What a year.

Most people write their look back on the year on New Years but today is a much more important day for me. At this time last year I was sitting in the Charlotte airport waiting to go to boot camp. I was anxious, nervous, scared, and most of all excited. I was finally making my dream of being in the military come true. It was all I ever wanted. My parents made me go to college right after high school instead of joining because I was 17 and my mom had 20 years of Army experience under her belt. I listened to her, made it through two years of doing something I hated, and finally went to talk to a recruiter. As I walked out of his office after signing the papers I called my mom and told her to guess what I just did. Her answer? “You joined the Navy didn’t you?” How in the hell she knew that I will never know. After a few weeks in training I could tell something just wasn’t right. I was sick, I couldn’t breathe, and every time I would try and run I would literally collapse. I spent four months at RTC even though boot camp only lasts two. They tried to “fix me” in every way they knew how but I wasn’t getting better, I was rapidly getting worse. When I came home my doctor diagnosed it as fibromyalgia, a nerve condition that affects a number of different parts of your body. Another doctor ran extensive blood work on me and during the results appointment she asked told me that I had mono recently. Apparently what they diagnosed in boot camp as extreme pnuemonia was actually mono and triggered the fibro. I have been out for eight months but it seems like only yesterday. I have done almost nothing productive since I’ve been home. It’s so hard to try and figure out what I want in life when the only thing I’ve ever wanted was taken away from me in a five minute visit to a doctor.

What’s with the mind games?

Boys say girls are confusing, girls say boys are confusing. So which is it really? Why can’t both sexes just stop with the mind games. I think everyone would be a lot happier. Navy Boy and I haven’t really talked since he dropped his bombshell on me. He told me he would call me but never did. So I finally broke down and texted him (see, I’m totally guilty of the mind games) and then found out I was on speaker phone. I don’t do speaker phone especially when one of your Navy buddies is drunk and laughing hysterically and repeating everything I say. He told me he would call me back. Two days later he still hasn’t. Why after telling me you want to marry me would you just drop off the face of the earth? Navy Boy’s jedi mind tricks have nothing on Engineer Boy though. I haven’t had any contact with him since the day after I saw him. None. Not even a drunk text. He’s supposed to be in town soon and I’m wondering if he’ll try to come over. I can assure you for an absolute fact though that he won’t be. Guys confuse and irritate me. If you’re not interested let me know straight up. Don’t string me along. Don’t tell me you want to marry me and then drop off the planet. Don’t beg me to come see you then don’t talk to me for a month. I’m totally drinking tonight until both of these two are off my mind. I’m turning off my phone and sober me is going to hide it from drunk me.

Holy Shit.

It’s the only phrase I’ve been repeating for the last thirty minutes and unfortunately it’s too much of a god awful hour for anyone to be awake for me to talk to. I just got off the phone with Navy Boy. He was acting like he was acting the first time he told me he loved me. And then he told me he had a question for me, of course I had to ruin it with a joke, but then he was like, “You really don’t know what I’m trying to ask you?” I told him no. I figured he just wanted to make it official again, but I really didn’t want that since we are so far away. After going back and forth for a while I told him what I thought it was and he said, “No, what I’m thinking is a little more official and lasts a little longer.” HOLY SHIT. He eventually had to go to bed since he is in the military and wakes up in just a few hours. After I got off the phone I texted him and said to ask me in person. He texted me back with this, “I will marry you someday. I love you. If I ever grow the balls to, I will.” Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Lock Up Your Boyfriend

Apparently I give off an air of wanting to fuck other people’s boyfriends. A few weeks after moving in the new apartment the BFF drunkenly told her boyfriend he was in the wrong bed and he should go to mine. He and I laughed it off and never mentioned it to her again. Mostly because she was drunk. We do spend a lot of time together, but shit, we work together and live together. Our schedules are really similar, not to mention he has become one of my closest friends. This weekend however it was the other roommate accusing me of wanting to sleep with her man. She and I didn’t really know each other well before we moved in together and to be perfectly honest, we still don’t. I’m trying though, I spend as much time as I can with her and we talk about what is going on in our lives presently but that’s about it. The other night she went to pick up the guy she’s been seeing to bring him back to the apartment and she sent me a whopper of a text, “be honest do u wanna fuck *****? im not gonna be mad”. Um, NO. She said it was because I was always asking about him and asking if he was coming over. I ask about him to make conversation and I ask if he’s coming over to know who the hell is going to be in my apartment. I ask the BFF’s BF if his friend is coming over all the time and he’s there almost nightly. Do I want to fuck him? Absolutely not. Anyways, I reassured her I wanted nothing more than for her to be happy and I thought things were fine until today. I was busy all day and when I finally got to my phone I had a text that just said “is this navy?” from a strange number. Since the strange number knew I had been in the Navy I figured it was someone I knew and when I replied asking who it was they just said “i want ur body”. Classy right? I finally figured out who it was, my roommate’s very best guy friend who she may or may not have a thing with depending on the day. Turns out she gave him my number in an effort to hook us up. I may be going through a dry spell but that doesn’t mean I want to be hooked up with someone who has history with someone I care about. I think I’m just going to have a talk with her to figure out what gives. Speaking of my dry spell, I’m seeing Engineer Boy next week. Maybe it will shed some light on Engineer Boy vs. Navy Boy.

Twenty Things.

1. I generally like animals more than people.

2. I used to have to sneak shoes I bought past my mom because she forbade me to buy any more.

3. I am a gigantic pothead, I love weed more than alcohol.

4. I still love alcohol though.

5. I could make more money at a different job but I like it, even if some days I claim to hate it.

6. I can cook really, really well.

7. I’m trying to write a novel.

8. I’m pretty much a total nympho but I haven’t gotten much lately.

9. Country music is my favorite. I love any song that tells a story though.

10. I’m in love with two different people for two different reasons.

11. I love hot weather but have to be cold to sleep.

12. I can decorate the shit out of any space.

13. I never know whether to say it’s a disease or a condition. Either way, fuck fibro.

14. My biggest regret is that I couldn’t pass bootcamp and be in the Navy right now.

15. Every plant I buy or plant ends up dying. I’ve never had a green thumb.

16. The best compliment I’ve ever gotten was “You look just like Audrey Hepburn!” She probably doesn’t remember me but I will always remember her.

17. Probably the most fun I’ve had with my mom was the afternoon at the nude beach in St. Maarten.

18. I own more LSU paraphernalia than any other brand of clothing. I even have a LSU Snuggie.

19. I don’t have cable, but I do have a lot of movies.

20. I like watching shit blow up more than the average girl, I hate wrecking cars in NASCAR though.