I am so classy.

So I’m thinking about quitting at the naughty store. My boss is an evil bipolar bitch who will throw anyone under the bus to try and save her ass. Thursday she told me that I would have to work the day before Thanksgiving for 3 hours while my family was in town. My family who I haven’t seen all together in 7 months. Needless to say, I needed a drink. And bad. I called up to the bar and asked the bartender if there was anyone there who could give me a ride since my car is all fubared. The only person who could come and get me was the guy in the Army I slept with a few times. Talk about an awkward car ride. He left after a couple of hours and I turned my sights to the cute guy at the end of the bar. Fast forward to closing time. I’m hammered, he’s hammered, we’re making out, I don’t even really know his name. So we did what anyone else would do, we got a hotel room. It was pretty amazing. Like, definitely going on my top 5. The best part? He’s not even from here so when I woke up he was already gone to work.

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I’m Just Not That Into Him

So I’ve been seeing this guy the last few weeks who isn’t from here and is going back to his natural habitat at the end of the week. At first I really liked him and thought he was great, blah, blah, blah, but now I can’t wait until he goes back. Sure, he’s probably the hottest guy I’ve ever slept with, sure I enjoy the fact that he smokes me up almost every day and pays for me whenever we go out somewhere, yeah we have great sex. But when it comes down to it, he annoys the shit out of me. All he talks about is how much he misses home and all his millions of friends and how cool his friends are and how much the place I live sucks. He also has no inclination to listen to my music and will literally take my computer out of my hands when I put a song on to change it to rap. He tries to tell me all the time the things I need to change, apparently I need God and to stop eating Taco Bell and quit smoking. Excuse me, but fuck off. You are not anything more than a friend and I will not be changing my entire lifestyle for you. I can’t even talk normally around him because he doesn’t understand half of what I’m saying. I didn’t find out until the other day that he never graduated high school and he made it through the little bit of school he went to by cheating. Yep, people, he’s a real winner. He asked me if I would date him if he lived here and I told him no without even thinking about it. I think he was a little taken aback by it since no girl has ever turned him down like that, but hey, sometimes you just gotta put bitches in their place.

Done. Done. Done.

I finally quit my shitty ass waitressing job!!! The job itself wasn’t horrible, however I was making NO money. All the servers are salary based instead of tip based and no one ever tipped. I’m now going to be working at a naughty store and hopefully this restaurant that is opening across the street from my house where I will make tips! I’m way more excited about the naughty store though. It’s going to be interesting seeing what people buy what and how they act. I’m going to get paid to talk to people about their sex lives all day long. I’m just hoping to make enough money between that and the waitressing job to pay my bills and save up a little. We shall see.

I can barely walk, and I’m covered in bruises.

But damn, my birthday was fun. It took us a while to finally get moving thanks to being quite hungover from the night before but once we did shit went down! We started out at the Biker Bar where I got served a penis jello shot cake and got a lapdance and a special birthday shot. After a while there they wanted to close up so we headed to another bar the BFF used to work at and continued our drunken debauchery. I got up on the stripper pole and apparently, I’m pretty good at it. No one would believe it was my first time really doing it. I also got a lap dance from this drunk married woman. That was interesting. We then decided it was time to head on home and I was doing great until we went over a speed bump and that started a trail of puke all the way to our apartment. At least I got it out the window. I had three guys trying to get in my pants but only Couch Boy was able to. On a side note to that, he has spent the last 3 nights here and last night was a sober night. I think something might be happening with us. I know he hasn’t seen Couch Girl lately, so maybe he gave that up for me finally?

Cue Dramatic Music.

So Navy Boy is home on leave. He came to see me before he went to his parents house. Things were pretty good. We of course slept together and he promised he would be back this weekend for my birthday. Everything I’ve wanted for months right? Weeeeellllll…. I got drunk last night and invited Couch Boy over. We had a big long heart to heart talk and somehow ended up naked. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if I want Navy Boy to come anymore. Shit, I don’t even know if I want Couch Boy there either. Why does everything always have to be so damn complicated? I feel horrible about sleeping with CB again, but it’s not stopping me from being tempted to invite him over again tonight to just chill. That is if he’s not hanging out with whatshername.

Oh lawdy.

I’m pretty sure I can’t even tell you the details of last night. But let’s just put it this way, I got FUCKED up. And not just alcohol. So I did the most logical thing I could do ever, I started talking to Couch Boy. Mostly because I was freaking out about what a horrible person I am and needed someone to talk to. While I was talking to him though Couch Girl sent a message forgiving me while still telling me she wanted a legitimate relationship with Couch Boy. Needless to say, I freaked out on him and told him to never contact me again. I apologized this morning but he’s been trying to talk to me since then. Probably because I freaked him out. Oh well. I really need to stop getting drunk and taking very illegal substances. It makes me say things I shouldn’t to people I shouldn’t. Oh, and the best friend is sleeping with our new roommate, which I figured was happening but I didn’t know for sure until I heard them last night. Out with the old, in with the new I guess.

I broke it off.

Turns out Couch Boy was still sleeping with Couch Girl. So I told him I couldn’t see him anymore. He had the nerve to ask if we could still hang out. Um, no. You were the douchebag who thought you could get away with sleeping with two girls at once and no one would get hurt. Why would I ever want to put myself in that situation again? I genuinely liked him up until last night when some truths came out. He apparently thought he was just a fun fling for me and didn’t realize there were feelings involved. Even though I told him previously I liked him. At this point I’m so sick of guys. I thought maybe he was different, but nope, he’s just like every other one.

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