Oh Engineer Boy…

I got a text the other day from him telling me how he was hanging out with my mom and ever since then he’s been sending me sappy texts. I feel like I am the boy and he is the girl. He can’t make up his mind whether he wants me or not. I also found some very old pictures of us today. They will definitely be funny to show if he and I ever do get hitched like so many want us to. My grandma the other day told me I needed to start looking for a husband, she’s been trying to set me up with Engineer Boy since we were babies, wouldn’t it be funny if it actually worked out that way? She would take all the credit I’m sure even though it was us that made it work.

Navy Boy

He and I had quite possibly the most intense relationship I have ever had. We went from strangers to dating in a week. In the middle of that week I went and saw Engineer Boy. The next weekend he was supposed to come visit me but instead I had to cancel because of Navy Boy. We spent most of our time with my best friend and her boyfriend. Two weeks into our relationship he told me he was moving away but wanted to keep seeing me until that happened, me being a dumbass agreed. After that he got very distant and very assholeish. On Valentine’s Day he went and hung out with his friends instead of me even though I was cooking him a nice dinner. He finally came over after I threw a fit and I may have punched a wall and sprained my wrist. Oh, and left a nice dent in the wall. He promptly left after he came over and I told him I was going to start cooking so hurry back. I cooked, dinner was ready, he was no where to be found. Mind you, this was about an hour after he left my house. So I ate and left the front door unlocked and locked myself in my room. Thirty minutes after I ate I finally heard his car pull up. I came out told him his dinner was on the table and he could microwave it but it was better when it was first finished. That started another argument. I finally calmed down and he apologized and life went on. My wrist however was killing me so I made him drive me to Walmart to get a splint. The next day I couldn’t move it so I asked him if he would take me to the hospital. He refused because he wanted to play video games so my best friend ended up taking me. At least now I’m known at that hospital as the girl who sprained her wrist from punching a wall on Valentines Day. A few days later he went and talked to the Air Force recruiter and I went with him. The next day I went and talked to the Navy recruiter and signed the paper work. Right after all that he moved back to his hometown so we officially broke up for the second or third time… I don’t know I lost count. He came back into town a few weeks later and I had pretty much forgotten about him since he was such a jerk to me most of the time. Turns out, he was just a jerk because he was trying to distance himself from me because he had fallen in love with me. Go fucking figure. So we tried to make things work long distance and it was decided that I would go see him at his parents house. My car blew up. I officially ended things once and for all. Well besides the drunken calls proclaiming how much we missed each other and how much we wanted to fuck. But everyone has those right? I went to boot camp and completely forgot about him for the most part. When I got out the drunken phone calls started again. And then the sober phone calls. And then I wrote him while he was at boot camp. The day he graduated I was his first phone call. He still calls me pretty much every day to tell me how much he misses me. I guess we will see what happens when he goes on leave. Or I go visit him. I haven’t decided yet. He is pretty good in bed…

I suck, and I’m sorry.

Life has been so incredibly, insanely, awesomely busy the last… what is it, month? I promise to make more of an effort to update this, should anyone actually be reading it. We finally moved into our new apartment right on the lake and it’s beautiful. I’m working all the time so now my job not only kills my weekends it kills pretty much my entire life. When I’m not working I’m too busy enjoying my apartment that I don’t want to go anywhere. Needless to say, it does not help the boy situation. I caved a few weeks ago and slept with engineer boy again. And I’m still pretty much constantly talking to him, but I realized that every so often I need to just do me and he will always come back if he really loves me. An ex boyfriend (I’ll call him Navy boy) of mine recently came back into contact and he’s constantly telling me how much he misses me. He promised to see me when he was on leave. As much as he aggravates the hell out of me most of the time… there’s something about him. And so yet again, it comes down to Engineer Boy vs. Navy Boy. But that history is for another post. Right now I have a bowl and a movie and a bed calling my sweet name.

I refuse to be a toy.

I have had a crush on the same person for literally forever. I don’t remember not knowing him or having a crush on him. However as of today I am done. We finally slept together a few months back and I thought things were going ok. We talked or texted every so often made plans to see each other etc etc. The past few days though he hasn’t texted me back or responded to anything I say at all. His birthday is coming up and he didn’t invite me, he invited his ex girlfriend and this girl who tried to share the bed with us once. I refuse to just be someone’s toy and an easy piece of ass. I mean, I am easy, but not if you’re fucking around with other girls. I think I’m just going to let things cool down between us. I’m not going to text him or call him. If he wants to talk to me, he knows how to get in touch with me.

Where is the love?

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, my least favorite day. But I won’t get into why, my reasons are probably pretty similar to everyone else’s. My V-Day wasn’t actually that bad though. I worked then came home and ate chocolate and watched bad chick flicks. My roommate on the other hand slutted it up as per usual. I knew she had plans with the guy she was trying to hook me up with prior to her deciding she liked him. At work her boyfriend was talking about how he was stealing her a cheesecake because it’s her favorite but I didn’t tell him anything. When I got off work I called her and she didn’t answer. She texted me a little while later and when I responded, she didn’t. She finally came home after she went to her boyfriend’s house. The thing that frustrates me the most is that she never tells anyone she is in a relationship. She flirts, sleeps in the same bed, and wakes up with hickeys with guys. I like to party, I like to have fun, I like to have sex. But if I’m in a relationship, I’m in a fucking relationship. Is it just me that has an issue with covering for this kind of behavior? I know this is the “hook-up generation” but when is enough, enough?